Friday, 13 January 2017

Secret Paranoid Parent

Happy Friday :)

House. Umbrella. Up.
Apparently one in 20 people won't leave their house today. It truly surprises me how many people are superstitious. I've happily indulged in picking up pennies, felt chuffed when two magpies appear. But I've also unintentionally walked under ladders, broken mirrors and I regularly pass people on stairs (much to their horror). Maybe the good luck just cancels out all my bad luck behaviour but as there have never been any consequence from either I'm a non believer.

Crazy, moi?
Being Friday the 13th it did get me reflecting about an aspect of my personality which could be a distant relative to superstition, paranoia. Although superstition to me is ludicrous irrational thinking my paranoia (I believe) is justified irrational thinking. My fears and worries are all things which are possible. Highly unlikely yes, but none the less possible. 

The cubs
This is completely the fault of my children. Like many parents they are my achillies heal. My love for them leaves me wide open and vulnerable. My need to ensure their safety means irrational feelings get the better of me. With my first born I regularly worried about not been able to protect him. Ordinary everyday events made my paranoia go into over drive. Walking at the side of the road the thought that a lorry might lose control and run into the pram consumed me. I was convinced on a ferry trip that a monster wave was going to appear out of nowhere and wash my bambinos over board.

Everyone: "Yeh! Camping is fun!"  Me (silently): "Yeh! what if a load of cows trample us to death in the night?"
Since having children I see the danger and 'what if's' in everything. Reports on the news of runaway dustbin lorries, toddler snatching crocodiles and children sneaking into Gorilla enclosures only fuels my desire to stock up on cotton wool and bubble wrap. However to encourage my boy's adventurous streak and to prevent me from being locked up I keep these thoughts safely tucked away.

Anyone else a secret paranoid parent?

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