Happy Friday :)
The Cambridge dictionary defines a holiday as; 'a time when someone does not go to work or school but is free to do what they want, such as travel or relax' So on that basis I'm not sure I've technically been on holiday. For those who have older kids, lucky you. For those currently with under 3's I feel your pain. For those contemplating/expecting kids the word holiday may need to be redefined for you (temporarily).
It's a nerve racking experience being apart from all the home comforts that maintain/control your toddlers life. Not to mention placing yourself in situations that you just would never normally entertain. Just imagine if someone said "Your toddler needs to sit on your knee for two and half hours in a half metre square space. Everything (including the hair of the unfortunate person in front) is in reaching distance of grabbing, kicking and throwing" Yeh, alright I don't think so. Well think again because that's the kick off mission to your holiday.
In a bid to help anyone with a toddler have a successful (non-holiday) holiday below are my 6 top tips:
1/Stock up on Chupa Chups
This unassuming ball of boiled saccharine was win win. The tiny treat helped me out when sitting still was necessary. Frequently bought me five minutes of peace to drink my wine. Whilst my toddler thought I was mum of the year for providing such a sugar rush. Buy Buy Buy
I was dubious as usually I'm a self catering kinda gal, but it was a god send. The heat, change of scenery, different tastes and textures of foods meant meals usually eaten were refused. Ordinarily this would have been very stressful (and annoying). However vast amounts of choice ready and waiting meant we could swop foods quickly and easily. Drink spilt, icecream dropped, no worries have another on me. This option really helped everyone be a happy chappy.
3/Keep it simple
Day trips with toddlers are not necessary. My youngests favourite activity was turning the tap on and off on the 'small sink'. Keep the plane journey in your mind. Anything that involves them being still, confined and well behaved can wait till they're at least 3 years old. That includes glass bottom boats. Yes they'll like seeing the fish for a fabulous 30 seconds. That leaves 2 hours and 59 minutes and 30 seconds to fill. Be warned, don't do it.
4/Don't hire a Pedalo
They look like fun. They aren't. One person will ended up pedalling (husband) whilst the other tries to keep the toddler safe (me). Safe on a plastic, rocking platform in the middle of the sea. I can guarantee you someone will hurt themselves (eldest). Someone will feel sick (me). Some twats in a boat will find it hilarious to watch you ride their waves (unknown twats).
5/Be prepared for a non holiday
I barely saw or spoke to my husband during the entire 10 days and nights. Alternating supervising the eldest and entertaining the youngest we were like passing lilos in the pool. Conversation revolved around checking suntan cream was applied, how many icecreams had been consumed and where all the inflatables were. All the E numbers from the green slushes, icecreams and chupa chups kept them going till well into the night. We did finally get half an hour to ourselves, when they fell asleep in the taxi coming home.
6/Book the babysitters in for when you get back
You'll have had 24/7 with your little darlings so you'll be ready for a break. I should have followed this advise but instead went camping just ensure I was sufficiently, completed, entirely knackered to go back to work.
Final thought. Don't stress it whilst you're away. It's only 7/10/14 days that your children will; Eat an exclusive diet of chips, icecreams and chupa chups. Go to bed the same time as you. Fall asleep fully clothed with sweaty faces whilst still trying to dance. Enjoy the moment, embrace the break from your usual routine. Believe me you will have plenty of time to pay for all that slack parenting when you arrive home.
#I'vecreatedapartyanimaltoddler #Where'stheminidisco?buggerIgglePiggle #Busted,lifedoesgoonafter7pm